Facebook Funny Status
Sunday, 27 May 2012
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Your Name: feels like getting some work done...and so he is sitting down until the feeling passes.
Your Name: used to play sports. Then she realized you can buy trophies. Now she's good at everything.
Your Name: is color blind and trying to solve a rubiks cube... This could take a while...
Your Name: dreams of a better world...where chickens can cross the road without having their motives questioned :0)
Your Name: says my computer just beat me at chess...but it was no match for me at kick boxing.
Your Name: is cle'a]ni.ng he'r ke]yb29oa;rd
Your Name: is wondering why his daughter's diaper holds no where near the 22-37 pounds it promises.
Your Name: is proud of herself. She finished a jigsaw puzzle in 6 months and the box said 2-4 years.
Your Name: doesn't suffer from insanity... he enjoys every minute of it.
Your Name: ║▌║█║▌║▌││║▌║█║▌│║▌║█║▌║▌││║▌║ *ZAP* *BEEP* Price: $7.95
Your Name: is wondering where noah kept woodpeckers on his ark
Your Name: thinks that if your relationship status says, "It's complicated" that you should stop kidding yourself and change it to "Single"
Your Name: before you use the bathroom in someones house make sure you check they have toilet paper!!
Your Name: Whoever says Paper beats Rock is an idiot. Next time I see someone say that I will throw a rock at them while they hold up a sheet of paper
Your Name: "Good morning...I see the assassins have failed."
Your Name: is cleaning out his medicine cabinet of expired prescriptions with a glass of water and several mystery pills at a time.
Your Name: Be nice to nerds, Chances are you will be working for them.
Your Name: is normally not a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me Superman.
Your Name: is experiencing life at a rate of several wtf's a minute
Your Name: just received a coupon in the mail: Buy one sock, get one FREE! While socks last.
Your Name: would rather check her facebook than face her checkbook.
Your Name: believes that if you tell your boss what you really think of him, the truth will set you free.
Your Name: ¡??i? ???s ??? ?? ?ooq???? ?sn pu? pu??spu?? ? op ????ui? u??
Your Name: Got out of jury duty by prefacing every answer with "according to the prophecy"
Your Name: is Loading ¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦ 99%
Your Name: People reckon I'm too patronising (that means I treat them as if they're stupid).
Your Name: Have you ever had a fly or small bug land on your computer screen and your first reaction is to try and scare it with the cursor?
Your Name: I have an oven with a 'stop time' button. It's probably meant to be 'stop timer' but I don't touch it, just in case.
Your Name: It recently became apparent to me that the letters 'T' and 'G' are far too close together on a keyboard. This is why I'll never be ending an e-mail with the phrase "Regards" ever again.
Your Name: How To Be A Hero tip: When destroying the enemy be sure to kill all the criminals in reverse order of importance before confronting the kingpin himself.
Your Name: went to the book store earlier to buy a 'Where's Wally' book. When I got there, I couldn't find the book anywhere. Well played Wally, well played.
Your Name: Don't waste money on expensive ipods. Simply think of your favourite tune and hum it. If you want to "switch tracks", think of another song you like and hum that instead.
Your Name: What do we want? PROCRASTINATION! When do we want it?... Next week.
Your Name: My wife said I'm too immature and if I don't grow up it's going to erect a barrier between us. Ha ha ha, erect.
Your Name: Statistically, 6 out of 7 dwarfs aren't happy.
Your Name: Hi, my name is Damimeve. The 'mime' is silent.
Your Name: got her test results back this morning and is shocked to find that she's been diagnosed with OCD. She's rung the doctors nine times to check if they're correct.
Your Name: reckons anti-wrinkle cream doesn't work. If it did, women wouldn't have any fingerprints.
Your Name: will one day get even... with all the people that have helped her.
Your Name: Do you know what really makes me smile? Facial muscles.
Your Name: People who live in stone houses shouldn't throw glasses.
Your Name: Statistically, 132% of all people exaggerate.
Your Name: Statistically 5/4 of people have trouble with fractions.
Your Name: I hear there is scientific proof that birthdays are good for you... the more you have the longer you live.
Your Name: I just read a list of 'the 100 things to do before you die'. I'm pretty surprised 'yell for help' wasn't one of them...
Your Name: I've always wondered if film directors wake up screaming "CUT! CUT! CUUUUUT!" when they have nightmares.
Your Name: TEIAM - problem solved
Your Name: never questions authority, he annoys authority. More effect, less effort.
Your Name: never judges a book by its cover. She uses the paragraph on the back, it tells you what the story is about.
Your Name: Top Tip Of The Week: When going through airport customs and you are asked "do you have any firearms with you?" do not reply "what do you need?"
Your Name: used to play sports. Then she realized you can buy trophies. Now she's good at everything.
Your Name: is color blind and trying to solve a rubiks cube... This could take a while...
Your Name: dreams of a better world...where chickens can cross the road without having their motives questioned :0)
Your Name: says my computer just beat me at chess...but it was no match for me at kick boxing.
Your Name: is cle'a]ni.ng he'r ke]yb29oa;rd
Your Name: is wondering why his daughter's diaper holds no where near the 22-37 pounds it promises.
Your Name: is proud of herself. She finished a jigsaw puzzle in 6 months and the box said 2-4 years.
Your Name: doesn't suffer from insanity... he enjoys every minute of it.
Your Name: ║▌║█║▌║▌││║▌║█║▌│║▌║█║▌║▌││║▌║ *ZAP* *BEEP* Price: $7.95
Your Name: is wondering where noah kept woodpeckers on his ark
Your Name: thinks that if your relationship status says, "It's complicated" that you should stop kidding yourself and change it to "Single"
Your Name: before you use the bathroom in someones house make sure you check they have toilet paper!!
Your Name: Whoever says Paper beats Rock is an idiot. Next time I see someone say that I will throw a rock at them while they hold up a sheet of paper
Your Name: "Good morning...I see the assassins have failed."
Your Name: is cleaning out his medicine cabinet of expired prescriptions with a glass of water and several mystery pills at a time.
Your Name: Be nice to nerds, Chances are you will be working for them.
Your Name: is normally not a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me Superman.
Your Name: is experiencing life at a rate of several wtf's a minute
Your Name: just received a coupon in the mail: Buy one sock, get one FREE! While socks last.
Your Name: would rather check her facebook than face her checkbook.
Your Name: believes that if you tell your boss what you really think of him, the truth will set you free.
Your Name: ¡??i? ???s ??? ?? ?ooq???? ?sn pu? pu??spu?? ? op ????ui? u??
Your Name: Got out of jury duty by prefacing every answer with "according to the prophecy"
Your Name: is Loading ¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦ 99%
Your Name: People reckon I'm too patronising (that means I treat them as if they're stupid).
Your Name: Have you ever had a fly or small bug land on your computer screen and your first reaction is to try and scare it with the cursor?
Your Name: I have an oven with a 'stop time' button. It's probably meant to be 'stop timer' but I don't touch it, just in case.
Your Name: It recently became apparent to me that the letters 'T' and 'G' are far too close together on a keyboard. This is why I'll never be ending an e-mail with the phrase "Regards" ever again.
Your Name: How To Be A Hero tip: When destroying the enemy be sure to kill all the criminals in reverse order of importance before confronting the kingpin himself.
Your Name: went to the book store earlier to buy a 'Where's Wally' book. When I got there, I couldn't find the book anywhere. Well played Wally, well played.
Your Name: Don't waste money on expensive ipods. Simply think of your favourite tune and hum it. If you want to "switch tracks", think of another song you like and hum that instead.
Your Name: What do we want? PROCRASTINATION! When do we want it?... Next week.
Your Name: My wife said I'm too immature and if I don't grow up it's going to erect a barrier between us. Ha ha ha, erect.
Your Name: Statistically, 6 out of 7 dwarfs aren't happy.
Your Name: Hi, my name is Damimeve. The 'mime' is silent.
Your Name: got her test results back this morning and is shocked to find that she's been diagnosed with OCD. She's rung the doctors nine times to check if they're correct.
Your Name: reckons anti-wrinkle cream doesn't work. If it did, women wouldn't have any fingerprints.
Your Name: will one day get even... with all the people that have helped her.
Your Name: Do you know what really makes me smile? Facial muscles.
Your Name: People who live in stone houses shouldn't throw glasses.
Your Name: Statistically, 132% of all people exaggerate.
Your Name: Statistically 5/4 of people have trouble with fractions.
Your Name: I hear there is scientific proof that birthdays are good for you... the more you have the longer you live.
Your Name: I just read a list of 'the 100 things to do before you die'. I'm pretty surprised 'yell for help' wasn't one of them...
Your Name: I've always wondered if film directors wake up screaming "CUT! CUT! CUUUUUT!" when they have nightmares.
Your Name: TEIAM - problem solved
Your Name: never questions authority, he annoys authority. More effect, less effort.
Your Name: never judges a book by its cover. She uses the paragraph on the back, it tells you what the story is about.
Your Name: Top Tip Of The Week: When going through airport customs and you are asked "do you have any firearms with you?" do not reply "what do you need?"
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